At first I was doubtful. But it turns out that Buddhism shed radiant light on my darkest relationship moments. To begin at the beginning meant to consider the Four Noble Truths.
These are the very first teachings the Buddha gave upon attaining enlightenment and the entire Buddhadharma is based around them. The Four Noble Truths.
The truth of suffering. This does not mean that life sucks. It refers to the fact that everything changes and there is nothing to hold on to. The cause of suffering. Trying to hold on anyway. The cessation of suffering. This condition can be alleviated. The path to no suffering. The noble eightfold path will lead you out of suffering. The eight steps are:. The Four Noble Truths of Love. How might you apply these truths to love? Here is what I came up with. This is just the way it is. Interestingly, all these things happen, even in happy relationships.
Thus, it is uncomfortable. The emotional exchange between two people shifts like grains of sand in the desert: On still other occasions, imperceptible winds cause little piles to slowly accumulate until, one day, a familiar path is altogether blocked. And just like trekking through the desert, it pays to be as absorbed in the present moment as you are attuned to atmospheric indicators.
Woe to she whose attention to either lapses. Have you ever had a rapturous moment with a beloved, arms wrapped around each other, blissful, and thought: I never want this moment to end? The moment is alive. The air is alive, as is the ground you stand on, the flesh on your bones, the looks you exchange. Everything that is alive also dissolves, whether in a nanosecond or an eon.
If you want a snuggly relationship, please disregard. But if you want to add vitality, genuineness, chaos, depth, sorrow, joy, and meaning to your snuggles, you could contemplate these notions further. The bad news is you never get where you thought you wanted to go.
How would he handle challenging situations that couples face on a daily basis? Well, wonder no more – here are the rules to dating according to Buddha. On the spiritual path, the rules can be surprisingly simple. Check out this modern interpretation of Buddha wisdom turned dating tips.
Expecting relationships to be comfortable is what makes them uncomfortable. At the root of discomfort is the wish for comfort. Your neuroses, their neuroses, and all your mutual hopes and fears about love flood the environment. Whether you bargained for it or not, you get introduced to your deepest self while someone else is trying to introduce you to their deepest self. It can become very confusing. But instead of wasting time assigning blame and thinking that will solve everything or anything , better to dive right in and try to be kind to each other as you bump around.
What would it be like if, instead of wishing for comfort, we wished for depth? What if the first thing we brought to our disconnects was curiosity rather than judgment?
This leads to the third noble truth:. Meeting the discomfort together is love.
The inability to create safety actually plots the path to love. When you work with all this chaos and joy and sweetness and rage and so on , love becomes more than romance. This could be especially true for culturally bound Buddhist etiquette and sect-specific observances. It is not polite to ask a Theravaden girl if she recites the Lotus Sutra, for instance. You certainly won't impress her by talking about Mahayana ideology if she is Theravadin.
If you are religious but not Buddhist, look for similarities and shared experiences to make the relationship stronger BECAUSE of this point- if you are both religious, you already share much common ground of ethics and morality. If you are Muslim, she agrees very much with giving zakat, or alms. For example, your girlfriend also wants to attain moksha liberation.
Norway, Alaska, where the sun never sets for six months and for the next six months, there is no sun. Orphaned articles from May All orphaned articles Articles with too few wikilinks from May All articles with too few wikilinks Articles covered by WikiProject Wikify from May All articles covered by WikiProject Wikify Wikipedia articles needing reorganization from October Wikipedia articles with style issues from October All articles with style issues Articles with multiple maintenance issues. Sorry if my impatience gets me restating anything others have said. Properly considering alms food, I use it: Moo s owners seemed a bit hard and feelings into consideration. Instead of a religious obligation, marriage is seen as an individual choice.
If you are Christian, 'treat others as you would yourself' and 'forgive your enemies' are her tenets, too. There is much more common ground than difference: If you are not religious, she shares many common points with you, too, such as not worshipping a God or Gods and rejection of superstition and dogma. Don't touch her shrine, her chanting beads, statuary, books, under any circumstances. She doesn't worship idols, but they have deep symbolism for her, and that needs to be respected.
Don't ever say anything bad about her Teacher, her Buddhist community, or monks or nuns unless it's really important to you. Chances are, she respects them. She may wake up very early in the morning and spend long hours chanting in a language you don't understand. If you don't find this beautiful, don't date a Buddhist girl!
She may also do this in the evening. This is to be expected. Buddhists like to laugh about their spirituality.
If you start to take her Buddhist practice seriously, she may well laugh at you. If incense is a problem for you because of allergies, asthma, etc. Every now and then she may get the inclination to go shave her head and be a nun. Renunciation of worldly ties goes hand in hand with most styles of Buddhism. Do you think she spends too much time on a temple or monastery?
You should not try to stop her from shaving her head if that is what she wants to do. Not Helpful 0 Helpful 1. I never want this moment to end? The moment is alive.
The air is alive, as is the ground you stand on, the flesh on your bones, the looks you exchange. Everything that is alive also dissolves, whether in a nanosecond or an eon. If you want a snuggly relationship, please disregard. But if you want to add vitality, genuineness, chaos, depth, sorrow, joy, and meaning to your snuggles, you could contemplate these notions further. The bad news is you never get where you thought you wanted to go.